| "The Ballad of Ajole" Let me tell you all a story 'bout a boy who loved to eat But he didn't dine on normal things like vegetables or meat His stomach needed tougher things to keep it satisfied And that is how he kept the wild west so terrified He swallowed half a beer can at the tender age of one And that's how he discovered that his butt-hole was a gun The metal changed to bullets that his stomach could digest And that's how he became the greatest outlaw in the west He was the best, above the rest He would shout his name, "Ajole", and the land would quake with fear No one dared to face a man who could shoot bullets from his rear So he pillaged, robbed, and murdered all along the Rio Grande Killing any desperate soul who dared to make a stand Ajole, don't turn your back Ajole, end your violent streak Ajole, let this one slip through the crack Ajole, turn the other cheek, Ajole Ajole could catch bullets with his teeth out of the air Then turn around and fire them back out of his derriere He ruined many pairs of jeans and so he dropped his drawers And only wore his buttless chaps to all his future wars But in time Ajole took to drinking gasoline It made his bullets faster, but it also made him mean Don't try to sneak up on him, if he hears you then you're dead He'll pin you down, sit on your face, and fire one through your head That's what I said, you're eating lead Soon the country turned against him and demanded him in jail It seemed that there was no way that the outlaw could prevail The army was called in to put an end to the distress But no one could predict the day would end in such a mess Ajole, don't turn your back Ajole, end your violent streak Ajole, let this one slip through the crack Ajole, turn the other cheek, Ajole They caught him in a stable in the outskirts of a town They thought he was asleep, but he was only lying down He heard the men approaching so he got down on all fours And fired a steady stream of bullets through the stable doors He took out thirty men before his ammunition failed But there was not a chance in hell this outlaw would be jailed He gathered all his cans and gas to make his final stand But everything did not go quite exactly as he planned Though it was grand, he would be damned He ate six dozen cans and drank a gallon-full of gas And prepared to shoot a cannonball of flame out of his ass The cans and gas combined were simply too much of a load And when he tried to let it fly it caused him to explode Ajole, you made quite a mess Ajole, when you met your tragic end Ajole, your fame was bottomless Ajole, your tale lives on the breaking wind, Ajole There's just one burning question, Ajole Was it all just indigestion, Ajole? Ole! |