"The Ballad of Ajole"

Let me tell you all a story 'bout a boy who loved to eat
But he didn't dine on normal things like vegetables or meat
His stomach needed tougher things to keep it satisfied
And that is how he kept the wild west so terrified
He swallowed half a beer can at the tender age of one
And that's how he discovered that his butt-hole was a gun
The metal changed to bullets that his stomach could digest
And that's how he became the greatest outlaw in the west
He was the best, above the rest
He would shout his name, "Ajole", and the land would quake with fear
No one dared to face a man who could shoot bullets from his rear
So he pillaged, robbed, and murdered all along the Rio Grande
Killing any desperate soul who dared to make a stand

Ajole, don't turn your back
Ajole, end your violent streak
Ajole, let this one slip through the crack
Ajole, turn the other cheek, Ajole

Ajole could catch bullets with his teeth out of the air
Then turn around and fire them back out of his derriere
He ruined many pairs of jeans and so he dropped his drawers
And only wore his buttless chaps to all his future wars
But in time Ajole took to drinking gasoline
It made his bullets faster, but it also made him mean
Don't try to sneak up on him, if he hears you then you're dead
He'll pin you down, sit on your face, and fire one through your head
That's what I said, you're eating lead
Soon the country turned against him and demanded him in jail
It seemed that there was no way that the outlaw could prevail
The army was called in to put an end to the distress
But no one could predict the day would end in such a mess

Ajole, don't turn your back
Ajole, end your violent streak
Ajole, let this one slip through the crack
Ajole, turn the other cheek, Ajole

They caught him in a stable in the outskirts of a town
They thought he was asleep, but he was only lying down
He heard the men approaching so he got down on all fours
And fired a steady stream of bullets through the stable doors
He took out thirty men before his ammunition failed
But there was not a chance in hell this outlaw would be jailed
He gathered all his cans and gas to make his final stand
But everything did not go quite exactly as he planned
Though it was grand, he would be damned
He ate six dozen cans and drank a gallon-full of gas
And prepared to shoot a cannonball of flame out of his ass
The cans and gas combined were simply too much of a load
And when he tried to let it fly it caused him to explode

Ajole, you made quite a mess
Ajole, when you met your tragic end
Ajole, your fame was bottomless
Ajole, your tale lives on the breaking wind, Ajole
There's just one burning question, Ajole
Was it all just indigestion, Ajole? 
Ole!