"The Long Arm of the Laundry"

A mountain high of dirty clothes lies on my bedroom floor
And in another day or so, I won't get through the door
But I despise the laundromat, I'd rather eat a sewer rat
But there is no escape when you're in this quandry
You've been caught by the Long Arm of the Laundry

My underwear is three days old and that's the cleanest pair
My socks are turning green with mold and my shirt is growing hair
The stench in here it grows and grows, but I don't wanna wash my clothes
And then the sad idea dawned upon me
I've been caught by the Long Arm of the Laundry

The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's gonna find you.
The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's right behind you
The Long Arm of the Laundry...No, you can't see it
The Long Arm of the Laundry...But it can't be defeated

I know when I walk through those doors exactly what I'll see
Alcoholics, bums, and whores who'll try to talk to me
I hate to waste my time this way, I wish this chore would go away
I should have listened when my mother warned me
That I'd be caught by the Long Arm of the Laundry

Of course all the machines are taken!
The freakin' change machine is broken!
Whoa, that washer's really shaking!
Why the hell is my dryer smoking?
That damn machine it ate my quarter!
My underwear has all turned pink!
These clothes are still all soaked with water!
I should have known this shirt would shrink
I should have washed it in the sink!

The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's gonna find you
The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's right behind you
The Long Arm of the Laundry...No, you can't see it
The Long Arm of the Laundry...But it can't be defeated

The Long Arm of the Laundry...Bras and panties
The Long Arm of the Laundry...Go in my hand please
The Long Arm of the Laundry...You’ve got to get clean somehow
The Long Arm of the Laundry...So, come on and dance with us now!

The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's gonna find you
The Long Arm of the Laundry...It's right behind you
The Long Arm of the Laundry...No, you can't see it
The Long Arm of the Laundry...But it can't be defeated

The Looooooooooooooooooooong Arm of the Laundry!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Music:

David Patrick Ford

 

Lyrics:

David Patrick Ford

Aaron Nutter

Evan Daves